Nintendo, Let’s Talk…
Okay, Nintendo, can we talk for one second? Like seriously, just you and me. Screw the YouTube video, screw the website (sorry Jay) let’s just you and me talk. Aright? Okay. So how you doin? You doin good? Good. The Switch is a fantastic piece of hardware by the way. Like seriously, you guys have made my childhood dreams come true.
I wish that you’d do better with getting these things back in stock at retailers in a regular fashion, instead of focusing on making another dozen handhelds and shoving more letters and numbers at the end of em. But whatever. I mean, I do live in one of the biggest metropolitan cities in Canada, and I can’t find one of these f*cking consoles anywhere, but no big deal.
I mean all I want is so bad to just give you my money, and you I feel go out of your way to refrain me from doing so. But that’s not the point, the point is, why? Like, that’s the one word I feel we the gaming community keep coming back at you with. “Why?” Why are the shortages so outrageous? Why are you making it so hard for indie developers to get games on your platform? Why are you yet again not working better with third parties to convince them to bring their work on to your console?
Why is it so goddamn hard, hectic, and convoluted to simply do voice chat? A feature that has existed with other consoles for nearly two generations now. Why a lot of things. But we’re not here to talk about all that. We’re here to talk about a problem that’s not as bad, but the solution to fix said problem, is laughable. So let’s get into it.
So the Switch released with one glaring hardware fault that affected many users at launch. Which was that connectivity of the left Joy-Con to the console was quite spotty. Frequently disconnecting from the system at random, and sometimes not connecting at all. But it was a pretty quick fix, and users could simply ship their console back to Nintendo, and Nintendo would have it fixed and shipped back fairly quickly.
Great, good on you Nintendo. In recent weeks though, another issue came up with users regarding the Battery of the Switch. In a report by Forbes, contributor Paul Tassi explains that:
The issue manifests itself in a few ways. Either your system will never charge fully, the charging icon is not reflective of the total charge (meaning it looks low when it isn’t) or the icon doesn’t appear at all.
So this obviously looks to be a smaller issue, but definitely one that could drive many up the wall. Now, I’m no hardware engineer, or any sort of…well anything, to know the extent of this issue and how you’d go about fixing it.
But usually from my experience with having used technology on a daily basis for many years, you would think that an issue like this could be fixed by a simple firmware update, right? Well, if that were the case I wouldn’t be making this video. So let’s get into exactly what needs to be done to remedy this issue, shall we? Oh this is going to be fun.
So let’s get this out of the way, alright? This entire process will take you 7 hours. 7. Hours. Seven. And you know what Nintendo tells you to do if it doesn’t work? Do it again. And again. This could be the only thing you do. For the rest of your life. Sounds fun, doesn’t it? So okay, here we go:
- Ensure the console has the latest system update. Easy enough
- Set the Auto-Sleep mode to “Never”for both “Playing on Console Screen” and for “Connected to TV” modes. Alrighty.
- Connect the AC adapter directly to the console until the battery is fully charged. If the battery charge indicator does not reach 100%, simply allow the console to charge for approximately three hours. The console can be in use while it is charging. Awesome so I can play Zelda while I wait for it to charge.
- Once the battery is fully charged, leave the console alone for one hour with the AC adapter still connected to it. Okay…
- Afterward, disconnect the AC adapter and allow the console to display the HOME Menu for approximately three to four hours. The remaining battery life must be depleted as much as possible. Uhm…sure.
- Once the battery charge is almost depleted, power off the console by holding down the POWER Button for three seconds, then select “Power Options” > “Turn Off.” Leave the console alone for at least 30 minutes.
- Repeat steps 2 – 6 several times. The battery charge indicator will improve gradually by repeating this process several times.
Now, for those that are confused, let my boy Paul Tassi from Forbes explain it. He says:
So to be clear, Nintendo’s fix for this is to force your screen to stay on in order to drain the battery after charging it fully. A dead console will apparently take three hours to charge, four hours to deplete, then you don’t touch it for thirty minutes. That’s a seven and a half hour process for one of these attempts, and Nintendo makes it clear you’re supposed to do this multiple times.
….I mean do I need to say more? Like, “why?” And moreover, like I have no idea of how the inside of technology works right, but this genuinely doesn’t feel like it should be the solution for a battery indicator flaw. Not the battery itself, but simply the indicator. Like this is Nintendo basically telling you, “have you tried turning it off and on again?”
Except making it a f*cking seven hour process. And this is the entirety of Nintendo, all of their technicians and engineers, telling you that THIS is the best way to solve your issue. A convoluted, laughable, 7 to possibly infinity, because let’s face it this is Nintendo, hour process to fix a, what seems like a simple issue.
Oh Nintendo. Come on buddy. I love what you do. I love your games. I love almost all your consoles. But just once, can you make things you know, easy?
So what are your thoughts? Do you think this whole solution is as laughable as I do? If you’re a Switch owner, are you having these issues? Let me know in the comments below!