santa claus

If you see an old man, clad in red, messing about your tree come December, then you should call the cops, because Santa is dead and you are being robbed.

Reading the title, two things were likely to cross your mind:

  1. Santa Claus was real?
  2. …so Mrs. Claus is single, right?

Yes, Santa Claus was real

Saint Nicholas isn’t just a name some cargo short dad came up with. It was the name of an actual person; a bishop, in fact.

He helped out the poor, needy, and homeless and after his death on December 6, 343, his legacy kept growing until he was turned, by word of mouth, into the mythical, gift-giving, elf sweatshop owning, Christmas marketing icon.

Saint NicholasAnyway, he’s dead

Now that we’re all caught up with the story, the tomb of Santa Claus, which was previously assumed to have been stolen and smuggled to Italy, has now been allegedly discovered in Antalya, Turkey.

Though the on-site archaeologists have yet to 100% confirm this discovery, excavation will continue around the tomb in order to safely remove it and get a closer look inside.

We probably won’t know for quite some time, because…well the church is old af, the tomb is old af, and the priceless mosaics on the church floor are old af, so digging around all that stuff is gonna take some careful planning.

Skull break GIF
God f*cking dammit, Carl!

start a fight